The rituals of animal, brand and human courtship
A visit to the David Attenborough exhibition at the Natural History Museum made me think about the rituals of attraction: how animals perform elaborate displays to secure a mate. Humans, too, follow distinct social codes in romance. And so do brands!
Like living organisms, brands use channel strategy, pricing and presentation to calibrate attraction: when to be seen, how much to reveal, to whom, and in pursuit of what kind of relationship. Like people on the dating scene, brands have personalities. Some have high opinions of themselves. Some are eager. Some are always available.
Consider three types of brand behaviour: ultra-luxury fashion, premium chocolate and mass-market beer. Each has a courtship style, with echoes in both animal displays and the relationship archetypes we recognise in people.
🦚 Ultra-Luxury Fashion = The Peacock + Aristocratic Arrangement + GenZ “Main Character vibe”
https://youtu.be/TTwT1-TpFhE?feature=shared
Luxury fashion brands—Hermès, Chanel, Rolex—are the peacocks of the market. They command attention. Their displays are rare, controlled, and ceremonial. Their most distinctive encounters happen in highly curated environments, with unique majestic campaigns and waitlists.
Their human equivalent is the GenZ “main character energy” aka that person who says little, but somehow becomes the centre of the room. Emotionally unavailable, but captivating. The one who knows their worth and lets you chase. A pomp and circumstance mystique.
Socially amongst my generation humans, this mimics the aristocratic alliance where relationships are based on power, legacy, and gatekeeping. You can’t just marry in.
🦜 Luxury Chocolate =The Birds-of-Paradise: Competitive bedazzling Display in a Crowded Market
https://youtu.be/nWfyw51DQfU?si=q-ARR-r2WR4FTD99
Birds-of-paradise perform elaborate displays: some clear arenas on the forest floor; others transform their feathers into striking shapes. For my analogy, the important part is the effect. The aim is ATTENTION! Brief, focused and emotionally charged.
Premium chocolate can operate similarly. A gift box or seasonal release invites a different encounter from a KitKat at every break: elegant displays, limited-edition packaging and curated environments where the box can seem almost as important as the chocolate. In this courtship analogy, the value lies in the intensity of the moment.
This is not a strategy of volume, but a strategy of distinctiveness. In a marketplace filled with noise, brands like Hotel Chocolat or Pierre Marcolini carve out space by controlling how and when they are experienced. Like the birds-of-paradise, they rely on performance.
Its dating equivalent might be the Vibey Hinge Date or First-Date Maximalist.
This is the person who is not proposing that you move in together, but will make the date feel like a cinematic short film. The outfit is curated. The playlist was thought through. The café has just the right lighting.
More attainable than the “main character,” they perform a different kind of mystique. You are drawn in by the look, the tone and the aesthetic. It is a vibe you are attracted to, even if it only lasts a weekend.
🐸 Mass-Market Beer = The Frog + Swipe Dating + “Pick Me Energy”
https://youtu.be/WWohDFKmB7U?feature=shared
Like with frogs, at nightfall the competition intensifies with the variety of beer brands. Then there are the brands who are everywhere. Budweiser, Heineken, Corona—they flood our environments like relentless attention-seekers. They’re in ads, parties, game nights, and convenience stores. Like the jungle frogs, their strategy is repetition, quantity and accessibility : if they’re loud and present enough and lots of them everywhere they will nab someone.
Their dating archetype is The “Pick Me”. They try hard. They’re enthusiastic. They align themselves with every social ritual trying to be the drink you grab when you don’t want to think too much. Their goal isn’t mystery. It’s familiarity. They just want to be chosen.
Often, they are chosen. They are the dependable Friday-night swipe, the friend who is always available. Not mysterious—but there when you want them.
In nature, courtship involves performance. In society, those performances become expressions of identity. In branding, they become channel strategy, product positioning and emotional narrative.
Brands, like people, tell us what kind of relationship they want. Some assess whether you are a suitable match. Some invite you to indulge every now and then. Some desperately want to be noticed.
And the ones who understand the ritual tend to find the mate they’re looking for.
A brand need not stay within one courtship style. I have certainly dated people who used hybrid techniques. Think of Gary Chapman’s five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts and physical touch. In a relationship, you might try different gestures to discover what matters to the other person. Brands can experiment with their own versions.
Could a luxury chocolate brand go a little froglike at holiday events or pop-ups without losing its peacock mystique? I think so, if it keeps its core codes intact and treats the frog as a controlled experiment, not a personality transplant. Seasonal offers, gifts and special releases can create excitement before the brand returns to its everyday elegance. The challenge is to stay recognisable while changing the volume (Sharp, 2010).
Words of affirmation become copy that recognises the buyer’s taste. Acts of service become concierge delivery, reliable customer care and transparent sourcing information. Quality time becomes immersive pop-ups, tasting salons or chef’s tables (Pine & Gilmore, 1999). Gifts become surprise inserts or numbered sleeves, drawing on reciprocity and scarcity (Cialdini, 2007). Physical touch becomes the weight of a box you want to keep, a satisfying magnetic closure or textured foil.
I would experiment with a 70/20/10 mix: 70% timeless peacock, 20% seasonal frog and 10% experimental weird or cute. It is a proposed balance, not a magic formula: keep the identity clear while leaving room to learn (Kotler & Keller, 2016). It might even help keep a long-term relationship interesting. I had better talk to my husband about this.
Try different expressions until you find the ones that land—and keep the relationship alive.